3 December 2008

Have You Tried Switching It Off And On Again?

Real technical support phone conversations:

Techincial support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one....
Customer: I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on 'start' for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.
Customer: Hi, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it...
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a colour printer?
Customer: Aaaah.....................thank you.
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies.
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.
Tech support: Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?
Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
A customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'


Anonymous said...

Those are funny!!!!!

I like them!

Taz said...

And all true. I've never worked as technical support but I was in charge of making sure everyone in my old office could work the new system....the things they used to ask me!!!

Oh btw you're tagged over on my blog ;)

Lola....L..O..L..A....lo--oh--luh! said...

Being a computer kind of person, I laughed my fanny off!!!

I want the t-shirt that says "No! I will not fix your computer!"

Sandra Evertson said...

Seasons Greetings and Holidays Cheers!
Sandra Evertson

bekimarie said...

Hint taken (cowboy bunting). Rosesposes had already suggested this and think its a great idea. Taken a look at yours and love it so think i will definately be putting in an order after christmas.
Take care
Beki xx

krafty girl said...

tis v.funny

really perked me up

i love hearing how stupid people can be...other than myself haha


Esther said...

Grin, I used to do tech support and those are bright compared to some.

When we put in PCs rather than the workstations they used to use we had to teach them to use a mouse. I had office managers waving the mouse at the screen and all sorts. One regularly rang up and told me his password as I could remember it for him, which was at least better than having it on a post-it note which others did as I had full access even without his password.

ethel and edna's tearoom said...

lol Love them so much going to send link to huubie.

Also loves Americanisms! I take it Lola..L..O..L..A..Lo--oh--luh! is from across the pond. ;o)

Anonymous said...


Have a great day!

Mademoiselle M.