A Letter To The Hungry Me

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Dear future hungry me ...

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You know how they say "inside every fat woman is a skinny woman trying to get out"?

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Well this is your skinny person here.

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I'm fed up with us only having one pair of jeans that fit us.

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We have 4 gorgeous jackets hanging up in our wardrobe, not to mention all the skirts and blouses we own - and we never wear them any more!

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I'm getting really bored of all those elasticated-waist, jogging bottom trouser things you insist on wearing round the house because they're "comfy".

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I want to be able to bend over and not feel all your tummy bunching up.

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So the next time you feel the urge to have a bowl of cereal at 3am, or have FOUR slices of toast for breakfast, or pinch the leftovers from boy*jelly's plate, I want you to stop and think about this:

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1) Remember the other month when you went out with the girls and spent half an hour trying on outfits only to wrench them off and leave them in a heap on the floor because they made you look like you were smuggling a beach ball

(by the way, when are you going to pick all those clothes up?)

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2) Remember the other week when we were a bit late for the start of the Disney Live Magic show and boy*jelly wanted us to run because he was worried we wouldn't get into the theatre? Remember how after a minute of running you thought you were going to throw up and had to stop.

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3) Think about the ridiculous positions you have to get into just to be able to paint your toenails.

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4) And how many times is it going to be funny to hold up a pair of your knickers only for Mr Jelly to say "are you going camping?" because they're the size of a family tent.

(I don't want to wear knickers that you can FOLD any more.)

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5) I'm fed up with all the photos of us looking like this, because you're always in the middle of saying "don't take my picture, I look horrible today"

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So fat lady, you've had many years of being the person Mr Jelly cuddles - now it's my turn.

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For the past 5 years you've been telling everybody that "you'll be thin at forty" - well that's less than a year away.

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You have one more week to stuff your face on easter eggs, burgers, chips and all the other stuff you say you enjoy and then we're off to join a slimming club, going swimming, buying a bike and we're going to start eating salad and fruit.

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I'm fed up of looking like this :

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And deleting images off the digital camera before they get seen by anybody else.
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Because really, I know we can look like this :

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Stick these photos on the fridge and get dieting!

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Not so much love,

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Your skinny inner-you.

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