Pick It, Lick It, Roll It, Flick It!

boy*jelly had a friend to tea yesterday evening.

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The friend was of the girl variety, but luckily they are still at that age where those things aren't important.

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I shall call this friend Chloe, for that is her name.

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When I took Chloe home in the car, I enquired as to whether she had enjoyed herself at a "boy's house"?

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Chloe : "Oh yes, I have been to a boy's house for tea before, I went to Alfonse's house once. Gertrude in my class says she has kissed Alfonse on the lips before, but I haven't"

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Me : "Ewwww, why would you want to kiss a boy on the lips? Boys are smelly. Boys do gross things like pick their nose and wipe it on their t-shirt"

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Chloe : "Yes. I know." ..... pause..... "My daddy doesn't though. He picks his nose and flicks it out the window"

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Oh I love the way kids are happy to betray their parents!

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Alfonse and Gertrude are not their real names, but I don't want Adam and Ruby's mums to find out.

Everybody Loves 85 Minutes Away!

I have only recently discovered "Everybody Loves Raymond" on Paramount Comedy Channel.
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Why have I never watched this before?
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There was a comedy-gap in my life because I knew all the episodes of Seinfeld off by heart.
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I can only watch Frasier a few episodes at a time before I cringe too much.
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I can only watch Curb Your Enthusiasm one epsiode at a time before it feels like I'm sucking on a lemon.
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But, oh, my comedy-gap is once again full!
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For those of you who are Raymond virgins, Raymond's over-posessive mother, Marie, and bigoted father Frank live directly opposite their house.
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So Raymond's wife, Deb, has to endure her mother-in-law's veiled comments about her cooking, how she brings up her kids, the state of the house....
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And then one day Marie and Frank decide to move to a condo 85 minutes away.
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This is the scene just after they have told Deb, Raymond and his brother that they will be moving 85 minutes away....
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Would your husband be like Robert and place you gently on top of the freezer?

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Or would he be like Raymond?

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Everybody, Including Me, Loves Raymond!

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Driving Me Crazy

Dear Other Car Drivers...

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1) Mini-roundabouts are designed to keep traffic flowing.
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They are not places where we all stop and gawp at each other.
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2) If I'm in a 30 mph zone, I'm going to do 30 mph.
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Driving really close behind me on my back bumper isn't going to make me drive any faster.
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In fact, it will probably make me go really slowly just to annoy you even more.
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3) There should be a stalk-like instrument by your steering wheel (the big, round, turny thing).
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Moving it in either an up or down manner will activate some blinking lights outside your car.
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These lights are called indicators and they show other drivers which way you are about to turn.
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Use them.
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Unless you're assuming we're all psychic.
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4) Once you've mastered how to activate your indicators, please ensure you check they have switched off after you've made your turn.
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You will know they are still on by the ticking noise.
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That is unless you are actually going to turn right in 3 miles.
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5) If there is an obstruction on your side of the road, it is called a "hazard" and you are supposed to stop and allow cars coming in the other direction pass.
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They have the right of way.
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Don't just pull out expecting the person coming towards you to stop.
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Because one day, I won't, and I'll make you reverse all the way back.
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6) Unless you have 3 hands, please don't drive with one phone to your ear, whilst holding a cigarette in the other hand.
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One day, you'll answer your cigarette and burn your ear.
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7) Just because you have had children in the past 40 years, it doesn't mean you can park in the child parking spaces at the supermarket.
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8) If you are waiting to pull out from a junction and you see there are no cars behind me, please don't pull out in front of me and then drive really slowly.
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Unless you enjoy the sight of a mad gesticulating woman in your mirror.
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9) Rear fog lights are only meant to be switched on when it's so foggy you can't see properly.
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Not when it was a bit misty last Tuesday.
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I would like to assure all my blog readers that I have never done any of the above.
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Ever.
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And it didn't take me 3 times to pass my driving test either!
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(I really did see a man this morning with mobile phone to his ear in one hand and a burning cigarette in the other hand)
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Tell All Tuesday

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The question for today's Tell All Tuesday is :

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.Where In The World Have You Been?
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My answer
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I shall try and do this in chronological order....

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I went camping in the South of France with my parents a few times.

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We also went to Berlin (when the wall was still there)

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As well as Portugal

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And Ibiza (before it became a mecca for crazy young people)

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When I was 15 I went on a school trip.

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It was a trip of a lifetime.

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We flew to Italy and caught a ship (a converted passenger ferry!) and sailed round the Meditteranean.

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On the one trip, I saw....

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The Pyramids in Egypt

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The Wailing Wall in Jerusalem

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The Roman ruins at Ephasus, Turkey

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Santorini in Greece

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After that, I went on another school trip - two weeks hiking round Iceland.

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I got to stand on top of an active volacano!

(Mind you, I'd had to climb up it first!)

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I've been ski-ing in France.

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And I've been to Paris with Mr Jelly.
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As well as Disneyland, Florida

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Kennedy Space Centre

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The Caymen Islands

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Gran Canaria, Fuerteventura and Lanzarote in the Balearics

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And most recently, Majorca

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You will notice from the photographs that I did most of these trips when I was young and care-free.

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Now I'm happy with a holiday in Cornwall on the beach.

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Rules

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What is Tell All Tuesday?
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If you wish to answer this question on your own blog, please leave a comment so we can all see how people have answered.
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Want to add the button to your own sidebar? Click here

Six Of The Best

I have been tagged by my blogging friend Happy Loves Rosie

(If you haven't seen Happy's blog before - go now ... the photos of her home will make you drooooool.)

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Rules

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* Link to the person who tagged you

* Mention the rules

* Tell six quirky yet boring, unspectacular details about yourself

* Tag six other bloggers by linking to them

* Go to each person’s blog and leave a comment that lets them know they’ve been tagged.

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I did something similar to this tag here and here and I'm struggling to think of more "un-interesting" secrets to divulge, so I thought I'd share 6 gross things about me.

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WARNING!

If you are a lady-like and sensitive person with

eye-rolling and tutting tendencies then do not read any further!

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Gross fact 1:

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Farts make me laugh.

I have been known to cry with laughter because of a guff.

Even the word "guff" makes me titter.

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Birthday card from my Dad

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Gross fact 2:

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I haven't cleaned my bathroom in forever.

I keep using the excuse that any germs will make our immune system stronger.....

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Gross fact 3:

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If there's any milk left in the bottom of my cereal bowl, I will drink it straight from the bowl.

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Gross fact 4:

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I did a craft-fair on Friday evening and found the remains of the pear I had put in a tied-up plastic bag from the craft fair the week before.

Which reminds me - I still haven't chucked it in the bin, but now at least it is tied-up in two plastic bags.

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Gross fact 5:

(Okay, now I'm struggling for any more gross facts.....)

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I discovered a really long, thick, black, curly hair sprouting out of the top of my head last month.

It was of the pubic variety.

On my head, people!

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Gross fact 6:

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Not really gross, but not very ladylike ....

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I swear like a trooper when boy*jelly isn't around.

It's like all the swear words I haven't been allowed to say when he's around all have to come out.

I'm like a demented Tourette's lady.

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I would like to apologise to anybody who now thinks of me in a different way.

Especially my mum.

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(PS - Before you ring the environmental health, that isn't really my bathroom)

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I bequeath this tag to the last 6 bloggers to become one of my followers:

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Tilly Rose / Terrible T / Faerie Nuff / Krafty Girl / At Home With MelMel / Violet White

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Daisy Dog

Back in July, I introduced you to our dog Poppy-Loo-Loo
(click here if you haven't seen the post)
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Before boy*jelly was invented, we decided to get another dog, but I knew I didn't want a puppy because puppies tend to do this....
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So we went to our local Dog Rescue Shelter to choose an adult dog.
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We came home with a white dog they had named "Snowy" but we changed her name to Daisy.

At first she was very thin and slightly nervous ... but she used to enjoy sunbathing in the garden
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Ocasionally sharing a toy with Poppy ...
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The two of them would sometimes create a mess together ...
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But I would get my own back...
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We only had Daisy for 3 years before she passed away about 5 years ago, but I'd like to think we gave her the best 3 years of her life.
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I'm Watching You....

My blogging-friend Sheena has had a few issues with unwanted visitors looking at some of the photographs on her blog.

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She advises her readers to install Sitemeter, which I have duly done.

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.It's fab! It doesn't quite tell you the age and sex of your blog visitors, but it does give you all sorts of useful (as well as useless) information.

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I can now tell if visitors to my blog have come from a link on someone else's blog.

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I have decided to run a little competition.....

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Whichever blog appears the most times on this referrals list between 14th to 21st November will win a prize of goodies!

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A padded heart

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Some cupcake buttons

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A felt cupcake

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and a zipper purse!

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So go on, get referring!

Blog Giveaway - But Don't Enter!

My most favouritest American sewing-lady is having a giveway on her blog and I'm only telling you about it because I get an extra entry if I tell all my blog readers.

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However, I don't want you to enter because I want to to win!!

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So here are the details of the giveaway I don't want you to enter:

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So don't pop over to her blog for a chance to win one of her gorgeous, scrummy bags.

Don't leave her any comments.

And don't tell her I sent you.

Tell All Tuesday

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The question for today's Tell All Tuesday is :
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Were you named after anybody?
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My answer
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I wasn't exactly named after her, but The Avengers was very popular in the late sixties and early seventies, and I was named Emma because of Mrs Emma Peel (Diana Rigg) who was Steed's side-kick in the Avengers.

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Emma wasn't a particularly common name back then ... not nearly as popular as it is now.

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When I was expecting boy*jelly, we did consider using Tara for a girl's name - the next girl after Emma Peel was Tara King and it would have been quirky to carry it on, but I just knew he was going to be a boy!

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Rules

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If you wish to answer this question on your own blog, please leave a comment so we can all see how people have answered.
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This Princess Doesn't Need A Pea ....

It's getting to that time of year again..

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The one that causes me loads of anxiety and stress.
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Traipsing from shop to shop looking for just the right thing.
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I'm not talking about Christmas shopping.
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Oh no - Christmas shopping is a breeze compared to this nightmare.
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I'm talking about buying new sheets for my bed.
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I have the most sensitive legs known to womankind.
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(And not the "Restless Leg Syndrome" sort of legs either.)
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I frustratingly call them my "jiffly" legs
(or as Kramer on Seinfeld calls them "Jimmy" legs!)
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My sheets have to be as smooth as a baby's bum, cool to the touch and with absolutely NO BOBBLES!
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I have been known to toss and turn, and jiffle and fidget because of an eyelash scratching me.
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So when it comes to buying sheets they have to be rigorously stroked against my cheek and rubbed across my lips to make sure there is no hint of scratchiness.
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And here's how you can help dear blogger....
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I have considered buying Egyptian cotton sheets, but they are heniously expensive ... are they worth it?
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Will they caress my legs with their cool, velvety softness?
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Will they bobble after the first wash?
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Will my quest for the perfect sheets ever end?
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