26 August 2009

G.U.T.T.E.D.

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I apologise in advance for the meandering nature of this post, but everything is relevant ...
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Part One
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First, it is important that you know about one of my telly crushes.
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Yes it's a certain Mr Nick Knowles, T.V. presenter and D.I.Y all-rounder .

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I'll happily watch an old episode of "D.I.Y S.O.S" on U.K. Home every day.
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Don't misunderstand me ...

It's not like I watched that episode where he was only wearing a towel 3 times in one day or anything.
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Oh wait.
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Yes I did.
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And it's not like I hope that in each episode he gets to knock out a chimney just so he gets all sweaty and covered in dust, and look a little bit, well, manly.
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Oh wait.
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Yes I do.
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Part Two
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This is Bill Bailey.
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He's a very funny comedian here in the UK.
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Part Three
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Rewind to 4 months ago and a telephone conversation.
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Me : "Hi jelly*bestfriend. It's me, Mrs*Jelly."
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jelly*bestfriend : "Hello Mrs*Jelly"
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(We're quite formal like that)
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Me : "Do you fancy going to see Bill Bailey live in concert in August?"
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jelly*bestfriend : "Yes I do."
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Me : "Righto. I'll get the tickets ordered"
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Part Four

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Rewind to last week
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Me : "Hello jelly*bestfriend. You know we're going to see Bill Bailey next week ...?"
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jelly*bestfriend : "Yes"
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(She's a woman of few words)
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Me : "Well I don't think I'm going to be able to make it for reasons that I shall tell you about, but don't really want to disclose on my blog when I write about it next week"
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jelly*bestfriend : "Oh that's a shame. I'll go with my husband instead"
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Me : "Righto. Hope you both have a lovely time."
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Part Five
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So jelly*bestfriend and her husband went to see Bill Bailey in concert last night.

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Here is a text I got from her during the interval

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So if you need me for the next few days, I'm the one in the corner sobbing quietly.
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34 comments:

bekimarie said...

I feel your pain xxx

Swirlyarts said...

Oh no!!! It would have been worse if a certain Mr Tennant was there too :)

frogs+sprogs said...

LOL that had me in stitches ... sorry but it is very funny :-)

Marie said...

Did she obtain photographic evidence??? If not I would be convincing myself that she was just toying with me right about now ;)

Sew Scrumptious said...

What are the chances! My sister in law is a producer at the BBC and is just about to do a programme with Nick Knowles. I'll get the all the juicy gossip for you!!

LoloDesigns said...

Talk about bad luck! I shouldn't laugh coz I'd be sulking for at least a month!! ;o) Just like I would if they ever stop those reruns on UK Home. xx

silverpebble said...

Nooooooooo. Terrible. Heartbreaking.

Bill Bailey is one of my TV crushes. Funny = sexy in my book, even when there's slight ahem, hair issues and gnome beard. Oh, and pipe (PIPE!)

busy lizzie said...

DOH!!!!

Deanne said...

Noooooooo oh bless you lol xxx

dottycookie said...

So did she get you his phone number then?

I feel your pain!

MollyandIzzie said...

Oh nooooo, disaster!

Hope your well and are too distraught!

x x

Menopausal musing said...

No!!! Get it right: You are the one in the "foetal" position, rocking backwards and forwards with your thumb in your mouth!! (but hey! at least you have time on your side.... unlike me. You have time on your side. GREAT post!) xx :O)

our shabby cottage said...

Oh, No! Your poor thing. I can feel your pain.

Kitschy Coo said...

Ouch, that sucks. File it under 'No fair' and try to move on ;)

Ruth said...

Oh my days. Gutted. GUTTED.

Han said...

But had you been there would you have been all star struck and like unable to even speak to him lol.

clare's craftroom said...

Not fair ! Not fair ! I stomp my feet for you !

katie said...

you're as good as a tonic you make me laugh so much - couldn't see where that one was going! I would have been more concerned about missing Bill than the other chap, who I don't know of at all.
limit the sobbing - never a good idea!

Pink Feather Paradise said...

I think you were saved from an embarrasing situation...

a) you would have stood gawping at him like a drooling stalker....

or

b) would have giggled like a schoolgirl with a huge crush and gone betroot red...

or

c) tried to play it cool, flicked your hair and been trampled by the rest of the ladies in the room trying to get to him!

I would have been a) for definate! ;D

x Alex

Esther said...

Oh no !! you should treat yourself to get over the disappointment !

twiggypeasticks said...

Swirly - Mr Tennant is at my house. I don't want to make you feel worse but we went to see Bill Bailey a few years ago and he was v.funny :)
twiggy

April said...

Noooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

April xx

Jelly Best Friend said...

Do not despair Mrs Jelly! Because even though I did see Nick Knowles(orange top,white jeans, young blond companion, and I have witnesses) at a Bill Bailey gig(comedy genius!), a certain few important things were missing from the optimum Mr Knowles experience, ie - being slightly sweaty, a light covering of dust, minimum stubble, clothes with paint and plaster spots, shorts , boots and bed hair. Oh dear! - I think you'll have to start taping DIY SOS for me !!

x vInTaGe VioLeT x said...

oh no!
slack jawed dribbling red faced simpering and speachless wouldn't have been a good look anyhow!

Ruth said...

gordon.effing.brown. you are a GENIUS! i think i forsee a red briefcase in my future...

Jackie said...

Doh!

trisha too said...

that is a sad tale of woe, indeed.

*passing you a tissue*

Jill said...

Oh me Oh my - just found your blog - I'm just a starter, but you made me laugh out loud, frighten the cat and distract hub from the cricket - must be good.
Hope you've overcome your disappointment.

prettyshabby said...

god god woman..you must be gutted. the words sod and law come to mind. I think though the comments from 'jellys best friend' might make you think twice..Nick knowles and white jeans? ewww no that cant be right. dust, sweat and ripped jeans is definately more like it.

prettyshabby said...

oops that was meant to say GOOD god woman

my word veri thing is 'spoider' now i cant stop saying 'spider' in a silly accent, its too late in the day for this kind of thing...

'SPOIDER'
bet you're saying it now.

PamperingBeki said...

Ohmyword, that was hilarious!!!

Elise said...

Hello, you have the most fabulously wonderful site here and I had to leave this comment for you ! Your posts are beautifully written, creative and original too, and you have interesting pictures.

It's all perfect !

Thank you for sharing your site and best wishes.... 'Happy September'....

Marie-Jolie said...

Now that is a crying shame! Something similar happened to me once in an airport. I ran to the bathroom, and my husband got to see (up close and personal) one of my idols who happened to walk through the same gate next to where we were sitting. By the time I made it back from the restroom, it was all over and done with . Ack!

Kitty said...

Nick Knowles? Nick Knowles?! Flippin' 'eck Mrs Jelly - I can't see it myself, but there you go. I feel terribly sorry that you missed both the show and Mr K in the bar.

I'm with Emma Pebble - I think Bill Bailey is way more attractive than Mr Knowles. :-p

x