28 July 2009

His Other Name Is "Murphy"

Dear Mr Law
(or may I call you by your first name; "Sod")

.It has come to my attention recently that you like having your fun with me.
I wonder what kind of kick you get out of the following :
I prepare a stock of "blank" PE bags in preparation for the rush of orders to come in only to receive orders for excatly none of the designs I have made.
I buy myself a fairly expensive pair of embroidery scissors, nice and sharp to cut out those fiddly bits of felt, and which pair is it I have lost?
The expensive pair, or the three, cheap, not-quite-as-nice-to-use pairs?
Where exactly have you hidden the expensive sharp pair?
Why is it that whatever clothes I want to buy for myself, the shops have always run out of my size?
I notice that you like this law so much you are also applying it to buying clothes for
boy*jelly as well.
Why do you always make the light-bulbs stop working when you know we haven't got the right sort in the cupboard?
What kind of pleasure do you get from making boy*jelly
" Need. To. Go. Right. Now "
when we're in the middle of a shop laden down with un-purchased goods in our basket and a gazillion miles from the nearest public loo?
Oh and there was that time I caught dog*jelly
(who as you know is 13 and likes everybody to believe she isn't very agile)
with both of her front paws on a dining-chair licking boy*jelly's plate clean.
I managed to get the video camera switched on in order to capture the dastardly deed on video, only for the tape to get all chewed up and break the camera.
I could go on, but time is getting on and I bet while I've been sat here preparing this blog-post there has been something really interesting on the telly that I will curse myself for missing.
So in closing Mr Law, I would like to propose that you naff off and apply your laws to somebody else for a change.
Mrs Jelly


Kathi D said...

If it makes you feel any better, he visits me, too. We are in the midst of a boiling hot spell, so guess when the outdoor watering system breaks down?

I remember well my sweet nephew, who always had to GO in the least convenient surroundings. Also, there was a period of time when I thought he was too old to go in the women's but I worried sick every time I sent him alone into the men's.

Chocolate Cat said...

And Mr Law could you please leave me alone as well!!! You visit me far too often! Hope you managed to catch your show on tv.

Ruth said...

I can't see how Mr Law would dare stick around after being told to NAFF OFF... but if he persists in bothering you, perhaps you should call his brother Jude for some 'assistance'... ;)

April said...

he does it to me too! I can never find clothes in C's size - since she was born, whatever size she is is the one out of stock!!!! Of course these days I can't buy anything for her without her approval (I get final veto, but there is on point wasting money on something she hates!)

April xx

Menopausal musing said...

Brilliant post Emma! Loved the addition of the little cartoon at the bottom. Your parcel of goodies arrived this morning. WOW! thank you SO much. x

Sew Scrumptious said...

Received my parcel this morning too. Thanks so much. You have no idea how much it cheered me up after another morning stuck in the house cos of the rain with 2 grumpy children under 3. I LOVE everything but particularly the cupcake needle case. My daughter has already bagsied the purse and bunny. Gorgeous. Thanks so much. Will blog about it...just need to find the camera!

nifty thrifty said...

Brilliantly funny! And so true. Anyway I'm off to build an ark ...

Indigo Blue said...

Visits us too. Ever since my hubby finished the decking it has been raining, so I think it may be Mr Law and my hubby's fault for the crap weather we have been having. I also agree with the lightbulb point and can I add batteries to that list too, especially on Christmas Day.