10 July 2009

Extreme Letter

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Dear ABC Network,
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I am a humble Brit who has recently become addicted to your programme hosted by Ty Pennington.
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I would like to nominate my house to be considered for an extreme makeover should you ever come back to Britain to show us how it's done.
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However, I'm not sure if I qualify as a candidate?
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I don't have 24 children - just the one, but he does run me ragged sometimes?
I don't have an incurable illness, but I do feel "run down" quite a lot of the time?
I haven't lost my spouse, although he does disappear into the bathroom for quite long periods of time?
I don't do an awful lot for my community, but I have been known to give a cheery wave to my neighbours from time to time?
I'm not a recovering drug-addict (unless you count the time I sniffed too much decongestant when I had a really bad cold)
My house isn't about fall to pieces around me, nor is it unsafe in any way, but I do abstain from doing the housework for longer than I probably should.
I'm not sure if I could make your viewers cry every five minutes, but I'm willing to give it a try.
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Me and my family have current passports so we are able go on holiday to whichever exotic location you choose whilst Ty and his team of designers try to rustle up some volunteers to rebuild a house for us in a week.
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As a family, our needs are quite modest.
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A grand room with a 30 foot ceiling may look a little out of place in our neighbourhood, but again, I'll leave all those sort of decisions to you as you are the experts.
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I'm sure Ty would have no problem finding several people to help demolish our home, but he may struggle trying to find some builders who can finish the project within the 7-day timescale. (Especially when you consider it took one of our neighbours nearly 9 months to have a single-room extension built on their house, but I'm sure you know what you're doing and will leave all that stuff to you and your team.)
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boy*jelly is also a fan of your show and has simple tastes for his bedroom.
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He'd be quite happy with a tree to climb, or a mountain to scale, but he'd be a bit overwhelmed by an entire basketball pitch, so you could probably get away with something quite simple.
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There is one thing that may hold the project up for you ... it might take you the best part of the week to empty my workroom, but if you could knock it down and then build me a triple storey building in the garden it would make my dreams come true.
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Thank you for your consideration,
Mrs Jelly and the Jelly family.
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PS - if Ty isn't free to present the show, you could always ask Nick Knowles to do it ... now that really would make my dreams come true!
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13 comments:

Vonnie said...

Once they're done with your house, could they do mine?!

Deanne said...

its on my dream list honey on my dream list too :)

Menopausal musing said...

Those kids' rooms are fantastic!!!
Loved the comment re waxed floorboards by the way....:O) x

Pink Feather Paradise said...

I would be happy with a new passport and nick knowles on a deserted beach on a maldives Island... oh hhmmm let me think Nicky boy... whatever can we do to pass the time? of course to make this fantasy 100% I would have to have Angelina Jolie's body!

x Alex

LoloDesigns said...

Love this post, made me smile;o). However I would like to point out that Nick Knowles is mine, and always will be....in my dreamworld that is ;o)!

Hannah said...

Nick Knowles isn't as crazy as Ty though lol Me and my Mum love EM:HE! Just wish there was some more episodes on TV

Ruth said...

Oh man... those rooms are insane! I have an inflatable palm tree (gotta keep the dream alive) but now I want a REAL one... with a hammock! And a flamingo serving me pina coladas! And why don't houses in the UK have decking??

Esther said...

We love that program too! Can't see it working here though :) However in that dream I'll have a remake to please.. can they magic up enough ground to give us a nice big garden while they are at it as our house s already three stories and covers that vast majority of out plot.

April said...

Can I please go on the list too!!

April xx

Tillyboo said...

Nick Knowles ... Hubba Hubba ! x

Esther said...

On a slightly, only very slightly serious note we have actually discussed if this would work here and decided that the funding would be difficult as there is much more a culture of the more well off should help those in need over there where as we expect our taxes to do it. Plus most people live in terrace houses so are very limited on increasing the size unless they start buying up the neighbours :)

Tip Top said...

Ah, but just think of all the cleaning!

Nicola said...

Ahhh you can keep Nick knowles - I'm sticking with david boreanaz (Angel from Buffy & the cool Agent from Bones, sigh)
Will get in line for the house makeover :)

Nic x