8 September 2009

Room To Rent

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(Before reading this post, you need to know that Mr Jelly works shifts and was at work when all of this happened.)
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4:40 of the am this morning I needed a wee.
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So I sleepily made my way to the bathroom, went back to bed and decided to read for a bit until I felt sleepy again.
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*Yawn*
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I reached to switch the bedside light off and there, sitting right by my light, was the most enormous spider.
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It was so big in fact, I would go so far as to say it was half-spider, half-rabbit.
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And it was sitting right by my light.
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The very light that not 5 minutes earlier I had switched on with my bare hand.
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Not more than 4 inches from my head.
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The very head that 10 minutes ago had been asleep.
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Beside a spider.
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Of course, none of these thoughts went through my head at the time.
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No - what went through my head is not repeatable on this blog.
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I made a very hasty dash for downstairs and spent 10 minutes composing myself.
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Then I did what any self-respecting blog writer would have done.
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I grabbed my camera to show you the magnitude of the spider-rabbit beast.
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Except, when I got upstairs ...
(cue dramatic music)
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IT HAD GONE !!!
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So now there's absolutely no chance of me ever setting foot into the bedroom ever again until the spider-rabbit has been located and re-homed in a rescue centre for orphaned spider-rabbits.
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And now in the harsh light of day, I am left with the following troubling thoughts :
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How long had it been sat there?
Did it crawl over my sleeping body to get there?
Is it now making a snuggly spider-rabbit nest in my bed?
Just exactly how many small children did it have to eat to get so big?
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And don't anybody try and tell me that it was more scared of me than I was of it.
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Because at no point did I see it running from the room stifling a scream.
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Click picture to see actual size of the spider-rabbit ... if you dare!

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19 comments:

Hannah said...

I am considered an excellent spider catcher lol. One ran across the living room floor yesterday and my housemate screamed and all I could do was laugh at her as she jumped up on the sofa and wouldn't move (she dropped the crisp bowl on the spider and rather than being an octoped it was then a quinped - it laid there a little stunned and then it jumped up and hobbled round in circles while I grabbed a cup and a magazine.

My friend at work found a spider in her laptop case and I rescued her while the rest of the office were in histerics lol

dottycookie said...

I refuse to believe that spoiders that size are scared of anything or anyone ...

But can you imagine the size of the flies it must have been eating?!

Esther said...

Not the legendary spider rabbit !!! you poor thing.

LoloDesigns said...

I had to read this post carefully as I was so scared there may have been a picture of a real spider. Yep so petrified of them can't even look at piccies, destroyed a whole library shelf once because of a picture of one, rather embarrassing!

Guess what I am checking before I got to sleep tonight! x

Cass said...

I feel your pain. I once stayed up all night because of a huge spider that I could not reach to kill (or catch) and no-one else was home. There was no way I was going to bed to find it had disappeared in the morning. Next day I had to run to get the next door neighbour to help!

frogs+sprogs said...

A friend of mine once woke up to find a mouse IN her bed ........!!

Josie said...

omg! - I know what you mean, if hubby is not as home then we have two cats to earn their keep!
Josie x

Itch2stitch.com said...

Yikes! That sounded that one huge spider! You wonder where they have gone, I prefer it when I can see them! Suzie. xxx

Jill said...

I have tried so hard to be brave about spiders as I know they do nothing but good (so we're told) but those big blighters with the hairy knees that come galloping across the carpet in their hob-nail boots can just stay out of my life - so perhaps moved into yours.

Pink Feather Paradise said...

I hate to tell you the statistics for how many spiders we actually swallow in our sleep... but it was either on its way to have a drink or had just had a drink.... wait for it.... from your mouth! arrrrggghhhhh! its true... they come down to drink from our tear ducts and mouths.... thats why if you have a glass of water next to the bed you will normally find a spider in it... dead! therefore I hope your not a drooler... otherwise they will love you!

an old wives tale says that if you put a conker in the corners of a room it will ward off spiders... and I have no idea if it works.. ;D

x Alex

PamperingBeki said...

Haha!! You crack me up.

I actually found a brown recluse in my cabinet last week. Ack!! Those things are mean! And fast.

Ruth said...

oh, barf. that's horrible - and the comment about spiders drinking off tear ducts is just terrifying!! i will be covering my face in talcum powder from now on to ward off the blighters.

Kitty said...

It's that time of year isn't it? The little sods come in from the cold and make merry in our homes. Don't know why - we have no spider accoutrements in our gaff. Horrible, leggy, black, hairy, creepy, crawly things. I wrote a blog post about an encounter I had with one of these monsters once. The memory still gives me the shivers. The memory of the spider that is, not the blog post - although that might have been bad too. x

busy lizzie said...

ooohwa! yuck. Your new friend probably belongs to same club as Mr Weta and Mr Spider that were hanging around by my clothes line last summer. I bet they all get together doubled over with laughter. and they probably all blog about it too...

Kathi D said...

OK, thank you very much. I will now lie awake all night, looking for spiders.

Tine said...

I totally understand. I wish I hadn't read the comment about spiders' nighttime drinking habits!!! The talcum powder plan made it a little better, but don't think I am ever going to sleep again! Maybe DH and I can sleep in shifts?!
I had to move the little comments window so it covered your picture of the spider-rabbit....even the picture is scary...YUCK!! I'm such a baby when it comes to spiders...

Tillyboo said...

We had his brother/ sister/ uncle/ aunt/ grandad/ grandmother (do spiders have gender identifying bits?)

under our sofa. It scurried out in a vain attempt to make it to under the tv. Hah ! he didn't bargain for a super fast pup slam dunking him to the carpet before swallowing him whole !

Try baiting it with some carrots ? :)

Deanne said...

we have its brother currently in our house and everytime we got to catch it!!! it disappears, its being on the run for two days now! nightmare and run pathetically screaming from the room everytime lol

prettyshabby said...

I'm doing the catching up post thing again, so apologies for leaving my message so far back down the line..I HATE spiders and feel your pain.Once I put on my dressing gown after a nice bath, came down stairs and into the front room with the massive window with no curtains.A Mahooosive spider with knees and eyes on sticks had hitched a ride with me too. ewwwwwwwwwwww.The dressing gown was off in a flash and launched across the room and I was there, naked (double ewwwwww) for all to see screaming like a banshee in front of the window with no curtains. Like i said, I feeeeeel your pain. (doesnt help that someone told me they come to drink out of your mouth at night and we apparently swallow 6 in a lifetime) sorry shouldnt of shared that really... rolling pins are good weapons though and big man sized shoes.