9 September 2009

A Moment's Silence Please

Dear Spider-Rabbit
I'm not proud of what happened.
I want you to know that I rang Mr Jelly at work TWICE last night and begged and pleaded with him to make the 30 minute round-trip to come and rescue me you but he said I should stop being so pathetic and just get on with it couldn't spare the time.
I want you to know that I spent from 10:20pm to 11:00pm (that's 40 minutes) desperately trying to get you to go into a massive cardboard box that was on the end of a broom-stick.
I was all ready to slam down a big piece of wood onto the box so that you couldn't get out.
I want you to know that I tried my hardest to overcome my shuddering terror to trap you.
But then you made a run for it with your long, spindly legs and that made me scream like a big girl for at least 10 seconds.
I want you to know that my scream woke boy*jelly because it had
"double made him jump"
(Nice to see that exactly none of my neighbours came to see if I was alright)
Perhaps now you'll come to see that sitting on the middle of the stairs when I need to go to bed is perhaps not the best place to be.
Except you won't because you're all smooshed up in a splatted heap.
Sorry about that.


x vInTaGe VioLeT x said...

R.I.P. Spider Rabbit x

x vInTaGe VioLeT x said...

i expect his mummy and daddy will be along shortly to find him.

jellybelly*jellybrain said...

Guess what's just run across my workroom floor?
I can feel another 40 minute episode coming on.

dottycookie said...

Where are they all coming from? We seem to have a houseful at the minute. It's like every spider in the village has heard we're a soft touch and decided to stomp in on their hairy little legs.

Colourart said...

You need a large bowl of conkers in your house,apparently spiders hate them and could leave you spider free(ish).

Pink Feather Paradise said...

See conkers are the way to go.... or in your case perhaps bonkers!


Hannah said...

I feel that I should come and rescue you from the Spideriness. I rescued my housemate on 3 occasions over the last few weeks. The best was the other night that was too funny - my sides were actually hurting from laughing at house mate screaming at the spider and climbing up the sofa!

I also rescued a lady at work from one. The spider had climbed into her laptop case at some point!

clare's craftroom said...

RIP dead spider !

Menopausal musing said...

Gone, but not forgotten........x

Laura said...

I was worried at first...thought it was an actual RABBIT, and well, while one might be caught off guard if a rabbit ran across their room, I dont know that the urgetoi kill it with a broom would be the natural reaction.

I know about WOLF spiders, but what the hell is a spider RABBIT. Because honestly, it sounds cute. I am picturing long ears and a basket full of eggs. No?

PamperingBeki said...

Ohmyword, I'm in tears laughing.

You are too funny!

Diane.W. said...

Awwww,this is wrong but sooooo funny,lol!!!
I am TERRIFIED of spiders & a Huge one fell out of my fresh laundry yesterday! What a commotion,I got my sweeping brush & flicked it outside!!!
You will be on edge now in the place where you should be relaxing (bed)!!! :o)x

Kitschy Coo said...

My husband killed one the size of a orange the other day, it was almost comical how awkward it was with it's four inch legs. Or maybe that was the wine.

Kathi D said...


busy lizzie said...

Collateral damage. And if they are gonna be that scary, they have got to accept that these things are going to happen!

Tine said...

Good! That'll teach his friends to stay out of your house!

Anonymous said...

At least you know where it is now! We are getting some horrendously huge ones. One of which OH squished with MY NEW SHOE and then left under the sofa where it still is all fat legged and huge because I can't get the hoover to reach and I'm scaredy. So there it stays. For the record I sit on the chair. OH is a bit scared too, he killed one with bleach the other day. Oh and I came in from walking the dog and there was a HUGE one next to the dog bed. I plucked up courage to cover it with a glass (and it's legs spilled out of the sides!) only for OH to text me when I was at work to tell me it was already dead?! So it crawled out and died in full view. They all seem to come out in the kitchen. We had a harvester spider nest in a cupboard when we moved in which is just gross as the family there previously had only been gone a day. Yuck yuck yuck, sorry but good riddance to the spider rabbit!

Anonymous said...