Raise Your Glasses ...

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Do you remember the other week I picked up my *new* glasses?

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I wore them religiously for, oooh, at least 3 days.

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Then I started to leave them on my bedside table in the morning.
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Then they became the world's most expensive Alice-Band, pushed back on my head keeping the hair out my eyes.

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Then I got fed up with them constantly pulling my hair out, and Mr Jelly got fed up with me walking up to him with a pair of glasses dangling in my hair expecting him to un-knot the mess, so I started taking them off and putting them down.

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And that means I lost them.

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Yep.

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They're in the house somewhere ...

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... probably with my proper set of keys that I lost about 3 weeks ago.

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That means I've got to have a big tidy-up session.

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Bum.

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I hate getting old.

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(and don't anybody suggest I get one of those spectacle cords that you wear round your neck either!)

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All Change!

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You found the new place then?

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I haven't had much of a chance to re-decorate the new blog ... just a new header and a few tweaks to the sidebar.

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Make sure you add the new blog URL (http://www.mrs-jelly.blogspot.com/) to your blog-reader to ensure you get notified of new posts.

(Or click the link below)

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Subscribe in a reader

Any links that you may have to me on your own blog (maybe on your sidebar) will also need to be changed from the old address to this one.

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See you when I've had chance to move in properly!

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The Boy In The Bubbles ...

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Nothing of blog-worthiness going on here at jelly HQ, so I thought I'd share a photo I took of boy*jelly recently.

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Yes.

His eyelashes really are that long.

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Click to see a larger image.

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More Interesting Than Watching Peas Cooking ...

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We are very fortunate where we live, (above a valley) to get some fantastic sunsets ...
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I was cooking tea last night and noticed there was a definite pink tinge to the sky ...

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I managed to get some shots from the front door whilst the peas were bubbling away in the kitchen ...

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. Look at the crows in the very top of the tree on the right
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We also get hot air balloons flying over as they come up the valley ...
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If you'd like to see more of my attempts at photography, or to see larger versions of these pictures, please have a browse in my Flickr albums.
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Maybe one day I'll be good enough to do something commercial with my photos, but for now I'm having fun playing with composition and lighting.

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Speccy Four Eyes

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If you follow my inane and vaccuous tweets on Twitter you'll know that I had an eye test last week.

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I decided it was time to get them checked because most of our car journeys for the past few months have included the following converstion

(with me in the passenger seat I hasten to add)

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Me (to Mr Jelly) : "Tell me when you can read the words on that sign?"

Mr Jelly (before I've finished speaking) : "Now"

Me (choosing one further away) : "How about that one?"

Mr Jelly : "Now"

Me : "Oh"

Mr Jelly : "Please tell me you can read the number plate of the car in front?"

Me : "Yes of course I can!"

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And if ever there was anything to read on the telly ...

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Me : "What does that say?"

Mr Jelly : "Oh for Pete's sake, go and get your eyes tested already!"

.(Actually, he didn't use the word "Pete", but this is a family blog)

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So I finally got them tested.

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I was sitting in the optician's chair when she asked me if I could read a line of illuminated letters whilst donning some fancy frames.

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"Ummm. I can see that there's some letters there, but I can't read them to you, no"

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Then she slipped in some lenses.

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I said "Oooh! I can read them!" and then realised that, actually, that probably wasn't a good sign....

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I picked up my glasses last Wednesday.

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I don't strictly have to wear them all the time, and I try pretending they don't actually make that much difference, but it's no use, I can't deny how much sharper everything looks when I'm wearing them.

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Upon being told I had to wear glasses, Mr Jelly commented that perhaps they might make me look more intelligent?

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I told him the only time I look more intelligent is when I stand next to him

(boom, tish)

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Before revealing them to you, I wanted to perfect my speccy-four-eyes looks :

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.The "Why Mrs Jelly, you're beautiful " look.

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The "Let me just think about that for a moment" look
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The "You're in big trouble now, buster" look

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The "Away with the fairies" look

(although it was supposed to be "Office Slut")

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And the, "Yes, they do make me look more intelligent" look
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Pride and (Maybe A Little Bit of) Prejudice

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At the beginning of the summer I received an intriguing email from the

The Jane Austen Centre.

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Could jellybelly*jellybrain supply their gift shop with 20 shabby-chic buntings and 30 patchwork cushion covers?

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Cue much fabric-shopping, triangle sewing and patchwork making and me and some of my team turned a big pile of gorgeous fabrics into a big pile of gorgeous bunting and cushion covers (thank you Janine and Jen).

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I delivered them by hand yesterday as the Jane Austen Centre is just down the road in Bath.

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Did you know that Jane Austen lived in Bath for 5 years, and although she never wrote a jot whilst she was there, it did give her plenty of ideas for future books.

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I know this, because I went on the tour while I was there.

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If you ever pay a visit to Bath, I highly recommend dropping in to the centre - it's a few doors away from the actual house that the Austen family initially lived in before having to move to a poorer part of town as their money dwindled.

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Not only is there a great exhibition where you can see a geniune Regency dress, rescued after it was found in pieces in a carrier bag ...

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... but they have a fab gift-shop selling some gorgeous bunting and patchwork cushion covers - I happen to know they're beautifully made.

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And of course, I couldn't pass up the opportunity ...

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"I'm a laydee don't you know"

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I can't help wondering what Jane herself might make of my penmanship skills on this here blog what I write?

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She did call one of her heroines Emma after all ....

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To Sleep, Perchance To Dream

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I've had a few weird dreams lately.

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Sadly, not the sort of dreams that involve George Clooney, Nick Knowles, David Tennant and a can of whippy cream.

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Mmmmmmm.

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Sorry.

Got a bit distracted there for a minute.

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No. I'm talking about the other sort of dreams that leave your duvet cover looking like a tornado has ripped through the bedroom.

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3 nights ago I dreamt I lost all of my lower teeth one by one.

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Little pegs of teeth just falling out all over the place.

2 nights ago I dreamt I was running along the street, only, and here's the weird part, I wasn't running away from anything, just running.

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Me running for fun? Now that is weird.
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And then last night I dreamt I was in the sea with great big waves crashing over my head and I was trying to reach boy*jelly who was bobbing up and down on top of the waves.

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Now I'm no psychiatrist, but I think I might be feeling a little stressed right now and my subconscious is trying to tell me something.

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I think maybe it's telling me:

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"look after your teeth, running is only for your dreams and don't go swimming in the sea"

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What's your weirdest dream?
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Eat That, Mr Jelly!

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You know how most evenings you get that moment when it's

"time for a little something"?
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Maybe a packet of couple of biscuits or a bowl of cereal?

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Just something to take away the 9pm munchies?

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Well, of course, you and I know what I'm talking about, but it's very rare that

Mr Jelly gets late-evening pangs of hunger.

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(Clearly that's why he's retained his size 30 waistline, and I, erm, haven't.)

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Except for the other evening when he made his way to the kitchen to get himself a bowl of Cornflakes ...

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... only to find that a certain other member of the household had left only the dregs and crumbs in the bottom of the box.

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He was not happy.

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"Stop eating my Cornflakes!"

he bellowed quipped.

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Duly chastised I tried blaming it on boy*jelly sulked for a bit and then got myself a bowl of recuperative cereal

(although not Cornflakes, obviously).

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The supermarket delivery driver has just dropped off this week's shopping, and to get Mr Jelly back for the time he did this, look what is waiting for him upon his return from work.

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(I have included the can of Coke to demonstrate how gi-nourmous the boxes are)

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And yes - there are FOUR of them.

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And even better, there's a chance to claim a free box of cereal on each one!

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That means he never has to forego a bowl of cereal ever again.

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Not unless I eat them all first that is!

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Minchin His Words

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Last night I put all my recent spider troubles behind me and went to see another comedian with jelly*bestfriend.
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We went to see the comedy-song genius that is Tim Minchin.
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I risked us both getting thrown out and took a sneaky picture to show you just how close we were to the stage.
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(Actually we sat in exactly the same seats Mr Jelly and I sat in to watch Dave Gorman)
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Please, please spend a few minutes watching him at work, because he has some very sensible words of advice about the environment and saving the planet.
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. He also sings some beautiful, heartfelt songs about love.
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And stuff.
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I had such a good time, I'm prepared to gloss over the fact that there was another spider-rabbit sitting on the stairs waiting for me when I got home ...

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A Moment's Silence Please

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Dear Spider-Rabbit
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I'm not proud of what happened.
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I want you to know that I rang Mr Jelly at work TWICE last night and begged and pleaded with him to make the 30 minute round-trip to come and rescue me you but he said I should stop being so pathetic and just get on with it couldn't spare the time.
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I want you to know that I spent from 10:20pm to 11:00pm (that's 40 minutes) desperately trying to get you to go into a massive cardboard box that was on the end of a broom-stick.

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I was all ready to slam down a big piece of wood onto the box so that you couldn't get out.

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I want you to know that I tried my hardest to overcome my shuddering terror to trap you.

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But then you made a run for it with your long, spindly legs and that made me scream like a big girl for at least 10 seconds.

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I want you to know that my scream woke boy*jelly because it had

"double made him jump"

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(Nice to see that exactly none of my neighbours came to see if I was alright)

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Perhaps now you'll come to see that sitting on the middle of the stairs when I need to go to bed is perhaps not the best place to be.

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Except you won't because you're all smooshed up in a splatted heap.

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Sorry about that.

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Room To Rent

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(Before reading this post, you need to know that Mr Jelly works shifts and was at work when all of this happened.)

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4:40 of the am this morning I needed a wee.

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So I sleepily made my way to the bathroom, went back to bed and decided to read for a bit until I felt sleepy again.

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*Yawn*

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I reached to switch the bedside light off and there, sitting right by my light, was the most enormous spider.

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It was so big in fact, I would go so far as to say it was half-spider, half-rabbit.

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And it was sitting right by my light.

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The very light that not 5 minutes earlier I had switched on with my bare hand.

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Not more than 4 inches from my head.

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The very head that 10 minutes ago had been asleep.

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Beside a spider.

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Of course, none of these thoughts went through my head at the time.

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No - what went through my head is not repeatable on this blog.

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I made a very hasty dash for downstairs and spent 10 minutes composing myself.

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Then I did what any self-respecting blog writer would have done.

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I grabbed my camera to show you the magnitude of the spider-rabbit beast.

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Except, when I got upstairs ...

(cue dramatic music)

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IT HAD GONE !!!

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So now there's absolutely no chance of me ever setting foot into the bedroom ever again until the spider-rabbit has been located and re-homed in a rescue centre for orphaned spider-rabbits.

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And now in the harsh light of day, I am left with the following troubling thoughts :

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How long had it been sat there?

Did it crawl over my sleeping body to get there?

Is it now making a snuggly spider-rabbit nest in my bed?

Just exactly how many small children did it have to eat to get so big?

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And don't anybody try and tell me that it was more scared of me than I was of it.

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Because at no point did I see it running from the room stifling a scream.

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Click picture to see actual size of the spider-rabbit ... if you dare!

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Guilty Motivation

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boy*jelly has been nagging asking me all summer for a new PE bag to use for school.

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Given that I promised him one last year that never materialised, his pleas became quite fervent by the end of the holidays.

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I kept putting it off until I could bear the guilt no more and as he is currently obsessed with all things Nintendo, I thought I'd have a go at making a PE bag with Mario on it.

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3 hours later and here's what I made ...

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It was quite fiddly, but I kept thinking of his appreciative face when he got to see the end result.

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Pleasingly, he declared it to be "amazing"

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Definitely A Celt

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So boy*jelly has survived his first four days back at school in a new class with a new teacher, made a new friend and even has a new PE bag made by his loving mother.
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I noticed that the teacher had helpfully put a sign in the classroom window telling us parents what they would be learning about over the next two terms.
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"Romans In Britain"
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Realising that if I asked too many questions about what he'd been studying at school would illicit the universal answer of "Can't remember", I waited a few hours and then had the following conversation:
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Me : "You been learning about the Romans at school?"
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boy*jelly : "Of course" (like, derr mother, what else would we be learning about?)
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Me : "So what have you learnt so far?"
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boy*jelly : "That they killed a lot of Celts"
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Me : "Riiiiiigghhhhht...." (not the answer I was expecting)
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boy*jelly : "Yeah - you see, you've got your Romans, your Celts and your Normals"
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Me : "okaaaaayyyyy"
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I'm guessing boy*jelly is a descendent of the Celts, because he can't speak Italian, and he's definitely not from the Normals ....

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Drive. Sit Down. Laugh A Bit. Drive Again.

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Last night, Mr Jelly and I experimented with a new position.

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After 15 years of marriage, we tried spicing things up.

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In the end, we decided it felt a bit weird, so we switched back to our usual position of me holding his left one with my right hand.

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Well, we were in public after all...

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Yes, you read that right ...

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... We went out for the evening.

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Sans child.

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We went to see the comedian Dave Gorman in his stand-up show called

"Sit Down, Pedal, Pedal, Stop and Stand Up."
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He's cycling from the UK's most Southernly point, across to the most Westerly and Easterly points and then up to the most Northern Point and performing his stand-up show each evening, (hence the title of the tour).

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Last night he stopped in Swindon (well, someone has to) and we were in the audience.

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I can't say too much about the show for fear of giving away spoliers to any future audiences, but I was surprised that he managed to get so much gear into his small back-pack .... some juggling batons, a uni-cycle, a piano, a massive steel elephant, an inflatable ringmaster ... oh wait, sorry, I'm getting mixed up with the time I went to see Take That.

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He was very funny, very clever and made me laugh loads.

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I wanted to have my photo taken with him in the foyer, but the queue was too long, and I was too hungry for a burger, so you'll just have to make do with a picture me and Mr Jelly took of us doing our position in public.

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(What were you expecting to see, you filthy-minded harlots!)

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